


Remembered

by merlypops



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Ghosts, Memories, Non-Graphic Violence, Sad Ending, Spoilers for The Raven Cycle, The Raven King Spoilers, there are some nice bits in it though i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2016-07-08
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:50:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Noah remembers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remembered

**Author's Note:**

> I finished reading the last book last night and honestly... I could not process how painfully beautiful it was? I still can't.  
> It was so so so good and I always had such a soft spot for Noah, and this fic kind of wrote itself. (It's really sad and I'm sorry.)  
> I hope you guys will like it!

**MURDERED**

 

There were two Noah Czernys.

The Noah Before and the Noah After.

The Noah Before was alive.

He was bright and happy; loud and exploding with joy; he was expensive skateboards and scuffed All-Stars and achingly loud guitar music; he was a red Mustang and Blink-182 and searching hands tangling in soft hair; he was rowdy parties and dancing on tables and surprisingly good grades; he was phone calls with his sister and dinners with his family whenever he took the long drive home; he was dreams about ravens and feathers and _life_ ; he was searching for a purpose.

That was the Noah Before.

The Noah After was dead.

He was pale and smudgy and insubstantial; he was shaking hands and tears that refused to fall; he was hollow lungs and a caved in cheek; he was Monmouth Manufacturing and four best friends who were _nothing_ like Whelk; he was lying on the ground and reliving his death on the ley line; he was a faded Aglionby jumper and betrayal stinging in his chest like hornets; he was lost.

 

****MURDERED****

 

They were aging without him.

That was all Noah could ever think when he looked at them. Ronan’s stubble was obvious and the crow’s-feet around Adam’s eyes were deep enough to fall into; Gansey’s eyesight was getting worse and Blue looked more like her mother with every passing day, and here Noah was: just watching, waiting, fading…

He lived through them all the time and they let him, lending him energy and warmth and _love_. He lived through Gansey’s shining eyes and impeccable boat shoes; he lived through Blue’s shifts at Nino’s and the noisy loving atmosphere of 300 Fox Way, and the first and last kiss Noah After would ever experience; he lived through Ronan’s beautiful dream objects and the roar of engines in the dead of night; he lived through Adam’s ridiculous courage and the loving murmur of Cabeswater beneath his tanned skin.

Noah lived through all of them but it didn’t make him feel alive.

Because he wasn’t.

He never would be again.

 

****MURDERED****

 

Noah remembered the crackle of the ley line’s energy all around them. He remembered Whelk’s awestruck expression and the excitement thrumming in Noah’s chest like a hummingbird. He remembered how blue the sky was that day; how cloudless and beautiful and bright.

He remembered hearing the word ‘sacrifice’ but being so caught up in the excitement of _finally_ discovering the most powerful point in Henrietta that he paid it no attention. He remembered seeing movement flickering out the corner of his eye and the fear that clutched in his frantically-pounding heart. He remembered his panic freezing him – _cowardly, always cowardly, just like Whelk had said_ – and then Noah remembered what came after.

He remembered the agonising pain and the searing heat scorching through his face. He remembered his weak cries and the boiling tears blinding him, and then he remembered how the dizziness had overwhelmed him like black tar. He remembered sinking down onto his knees and glimpsing the viciousness twisting Whelk’s face as he raised the skateboard one more before slamming it down and –

Noah remembered nothing at all.

 

****MURDERED****

 

The terror of being possessed was not something Noah could forget lightly; the impossible fear of not being able to control his own body as the demon set his nails in Blue’s face; the panicked words gasped out between waves of terrifying numbness as Noah lost control of his own incorporeal body.

He couldn’t forget the pain and the horror of his last moments, or the humiliation he felt at how far he’d fallen… at how _different_ he was now.

But he _also_ couldn’t forget what good friends Gansey and Ronan had been, and then Adam and Blue. He couldn’t forget the wonder of Cabeswater or the sweet old-book smell of the warehouse. He couldn’t forget Gansey’s model Henrietta and Ronan’s raven Chainsaw or the incense-and-strange-herb smell of 300 Fox Way. He couldn’t forget the roar of the Camaro or the turn of the stars in the sky, or how wearing the Aglionby uniform felt like _belonging_ –

But Noah couldn’t hide from his death anymore.

It was time to accept it.

 

****MURDERED****

 

Noah was fading faster every day.

Cabeswater was decaying and so was Noah. His soul was tearing itself apart because he’d been here too long, lingering on the ley line with fear keeping him from leaving… from moving on.

The demon was closing in and the end was in sight, drawing them closer like a spider in a web, waiting for them to come to him. Noah had to hope that his friends were strong enough without him. He wouldn’t be going with them now.

That much was quite clear because, after so long, Noah finally knew what he had to do now.

He had discovered his purpose – his reason for staying behind – and that was to make sure all of this happened in the first place because time was circular and nothing was ever certain, and Noah knew how to do that now.

He had to save a younger Gansey’s life.

Searching through time for a younger Gansey was draining the last of his energy from him but Noah fought against the waves of _other_ crashing down over him. This was something he had to do first.

Noah saw Gansey lying on the ground in the forest, twitching and gasping and _dying_ , and it was a mirror image of his own death back in Henrietta. Noah knelt down close and whispered into Gansey’s ear:

“ _You will live because of Glendower. Someone else on the ley line is dying when they should not, and so you will live when you should not._ ”

Gansey had always been kingly and brave, and maybe finally Noah could join him. He’d left his fear behind and all that was left was calmness and love and… _peace_.

Noah remembered a red Mustang with a Blink-182 sticker parked in a clearing. He remembered dancing on a table and dreaming about Raven Day. He remembered Blue’s laughter, Ronan’s crude jokes, Adam’s quiet bravery and Gansey’s unforgettable kindness.

Noah remembered and he would carry it with him.

He wouldn’t ever forget it.

 

****MURDERED****

 

There had been two Noah Czernys once upon a time –

The Noah Before and the Noah After –

And then there were none.

 

** REMEMBERED **

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I'm sorry if this sucked but I tried which hopefully counts for something :')  
> Please let me know what you thought!


End file.
